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Translink Break Space/Time Continium
This is shocking news that I feel ought to be revealed by New Scientist let alone BloggyBlog.co.uk, but it has come to my attentinon that local Northern Irish transport company, Translink, have finally been able to warp time to suit their needs - people, I keep you not!
Whilst sitting at a bus stop wondering what time the next bus will come at, I seen this:
The Picture has of course been increased in size for you to get the full benefit! So, after the 12:08 service, the 20A bus will next be arriving at 37:08, 38:08, 39:08, 40:45, 41:15, 41:45.
So either some guy was having a laugh and decided to do time in a completely different fashion (e.g. 37:08 = 37-24:08 = 13:08 = 1:08 - which incidentally would continue in the same pattern as the prior bus would arrive at 12:08!!)…oh, well, since I’ve worked out what has happened there isn’t much point in continuing this and it looks like they haven’t broken the time dimension.
Yet.
I am speechless. I am without speech.
Rather shockingly, I have nothing to rant about. Nothing to claim. Nothing to get annoyed about. Despite the Earth being in somewhat of a shit state what with the global economy dangling on a knife edge, tensions in the world and all that jazz, I have no real comments.
It’s not that I don’t want to comment, because believe me I do, it’s just that I have absolutely no interest in finances or global stocks to make any kind of comment without sounding stupid. People could have told me that Lehman Brothers crashed and burned because they invested heavily in Horseradish and I’d have believed them.
However, British banks saw some turmoil this week. HBOS suffered stock loses and had to sort themselves out by merging with Lloyds TSB. So…Lloyds HBOS, HBOS Lloyds TSB, that’s one hell of a company name.
On top of that, it looks like the British government can’t really decide who they want to be in charge. I am waiting for the day where Bono, Bob Geldof and all the other self-serving idiots who like they to think they’re changing the world one C Chord at a time, form a group to take over power in the UK - GovernAid. It’d make political party broadcasts all that more easier to stomach mind you, seeing Bob Geldof standing in Liverpool pointing out a car with no hub caps. (Sorry for the stereotype. But it is true.)
Also, the Parliament Channel would get record viewing figures, it’d be a kind of quasi-Big Brother. Though it’d still be just as bad as.
If I could choose though, I’d stick Richard Branson in charge of the country. The man can do no wrong. He’d sort the economy and get us back on the right track. I imagine though, he’d want to re-brand Britain - Virgin Britain. Unfortunately, it won’t really work, seeing how the previous government fucked as all.
Sponsors of Emmerdale
Once more, apologies for the obvious lack of posting recently. I have no excuse.
That aside, straight into the point of this post! All my readers from the UK (I think that’s maybe three. It’s not that I have more USA based readers, I think 100% of my readers from the UK.) will know of the horrible soap opera Emmerdale. Well, this is not about Emmerdale but about it’s sponsors.
At the minute it’s some company like Glade or Airfresh or something silly like that who sponsor Emmerdale, nothing wrong with that really, but the little 20 second adverts they have during the breaks of Emmerdale, before and after the episode, are very annoying.
I’ll set the scene. Two rabbits are sitting on a sofa. Clearly married due to many references made. The male rabbit is seen as somewhat of a lazy ‘let himself go’ kind of husband. The lady rabbit appears to be the well to do socialite who doesn’t take the chauvinistic approach to life. All the more power for her, I say. However, in her feminist streak she’s absolutely taking her husband down.
Admittedly, we know nothing of their relationship but they’re still together so that suggests that have something positive going for them.
Yet, every single ‘clip’ or ‘insight’ into their relationship is suggested the male is lazy, he can’t cook, he smells bad and he is no longer romantic.
Given that these sponsored adverts are aiming at a particular demographic, is that what women are really like? I’d like to think when I’m married that my wife would be a complete pain in the ass. In fact, I know she won’t be. Is this the direction of feminism though? Where’s the public outcry? There is none.
However, if it was the opposite. If the male rabbit was demanding the female rabbit go get him a beer, or cook dinner, or do the housework or service him sexually, then there’d be a public outcry by both ladies and effeminate men (of which I’m one :p).
Double standards? I don’t know. It just really annoys me.
Don’t ask why.
Whoops
I kind of went off the blogging bandwagon there for a week or a week and a half. I’m not entirely sure why because I’m not overly busy and my girlfriend was in Dublin for a few days so I had more time to myself that I normally would and I still kept running out of time to get things done.
I’m not entirely sure why this is happening so I have wracked my brain and come up with only two possible solutions. Either I have a bad habit of procrastination or that I am continually a target for alien abductions.
On to possibly the real reason why I haven’t posted (and actually picking up on a nice segway from the previous paragraph) my time seems to float away aimlessly into the ether whilst I’m revisiting my childhood in the form of retro games. I rediscovered an old favourite of mine, X-Com: UFO Enemy Unknown. This game is pure genius, so much so that I will not even begin to glaze over the topic, were the topic some form of bun. Instead, I will bake a blog post dedicated to this wonderful creation in it’s entirety. Apologies for the bun analogy, but I am hungry.
So, in essence this is yet another post claiming that I’m still here and you oughta keep reading. To whet your little bloggy appetites, I have the following topics in mind for blog posts in the near future:
- X-Com: UFO Enemy Unknown
- The Unsolved Zodiac Murders
- The Hilarious Dimension-Bending Timetables from Translink, Northern Ireland
- And much much more!
But wait, that’s not all! Not only do you get structured blogs to the tune of the above, you also get randomly generated rants (not actually by some random rant generator, but by my brain. Is there a difference? I don’t know.) but also thoughts and what not that I have had over the last few days/weeks/hours.
Enjoy.
Man, it’s a hot one.
Phew, what a scorcher of a day today! Belfast was feeling the heat alright and anyone stuck in a stuffy office block with computers all day will definitely not have had the most enjoyable of days in the sunshine. This is biggest reason why I dislike not being a student anymore, I can’t really just decide to stuff the afternoon’s work, it’s summertime, let’s go get naked. Not that I ever did that, I just decided to let’s go sit in the park. Nakedness is optional.
The weather report, however, stated today’s max would be about 21C. Anyone about would tell you that it definitely seemed a lot warmer than that.
Hold on though, I’m not complaining. I really don’t mind sunny days. However, if you get too warm, the antidote is usually to put a fan on. I have one whirring away right now. A fan of delight and coolness but a fan of deception and treachery. For I know, that as soon as I power down the fan or switch it off that my room will be plunged into a fiery chasm of stuffy warmness that there is no going back from. The only alternative is to never switch the fan off.
Life is tough.
IKEA
I’m just back from a trip to IKEA in Belfast, Northern Ireland. I’m not entirely sure what to think of it. Quite obviously, I’ve thought enough about it to want to make a blog post. But, I’m not going to rant and rave about how it isn’t that cheap or the furniture is poor quality or indeed that you have to build things yourself.
No, not at all! In fact, what I’m going to make is an observation just.
IKEA is full of pregnant women.
There. I said it. It really is though, I went today for two hours and the amount of bumps walking about the place was insane. Obviously, the link is that people are setting up home and with a wee-un on the way, they’ll be looking for bedrooms, updating this, childproofing that etc. but it’s just slightly funny to see all these soon-to-be mummy’s and daddy’s walking about the place.
Mental note, I will never go to IKEA again 
Fat men’s trousers
Probably the most inexplicably silly blog post title I’ve ever made but I was wondering about this today when no doubt I ought to have been doing something more important.
Why do fat men have the stigmata of wearing trousers that fall down on them constantly. Does this stereotypical view come from the idea that a fat guy is buying trousers that are about three sizes too big for him? Why would he do that? Surely he’d struggle to get trousers that actually fit him in the first place.
If anything, I reckon that fat guys trousers are probably too tight on them completely reducing the prospect of them actually falling down.
“But what if the button pops on those slacks?” I hear a small portion of the 4-10 people who read this blog. Well, worry not, for I have an answer. Hypothetical situation. Fat Larry is wearing tight trousers, oh no, the button pops and flies across the room hitting a sixteen year old on their work experience. Is Larry now suffering the embarrassment of his white boxer shorts (with the obligatory red hearts across them) being shown to the room? No. Why? Simply, because the trousers will probably hold their own, given that they are the correct size for Larry, or indeed, too tight for him. In which case, they’ll probably hold their own.
Why must this myth persist? If anything, skinny people’s trousers ought to be falling down more!
More so, if a fat guy’s trousers are falling down then I think we ought to give the guy respect, it’s probably a good indication that they’ve lost weight.
So much to do…so much time!
Aside from my two jobs in life, I’ve always been interested in earning a little extra through the interweb. I already have my Singing Success website that isn’t brining in much ($21). I will, eventually, have my home domain set up, NeillBoyd.com that will detail my brilliance in the vain hope of attracting clients for small scale IT work. However, I have been working on something else for now.
Ever since I worked for Microsoft I’ve always wanted to do something somewhat interested to do with maps. I worked in the MapPoint team and got a bit of a thing for integrating maps into applications. It opens up a whole new range of possibilities (admittedly, most of them have been covered by now) but I still want to add mine to the list.
More will be revealed when I actually have something worth while showing to people.
Basically, this is just a post to say to those 5-10 people who read this blog a day that I am not gone nor forgotten, just busy.
Keep reading though, no doubt something will irk me enough to make a post!
