Whenever we get the soppy music and the introduction similar to ‘and now for ________, this was a moment that he/she has been waiting for all his/her life, and he/she could only wish his/her father/mother/auntie/brother/sister/uncle/pet turtle was still alive to witness this occasion’

As soon as you get that, you know fine rightly that this person is going to be a decent singer. Where’s the people who are god awful singers but have got an interesting backstory? There’s bound to be plenty of them but they won’t show them because they then can’t have Simon Cowell laughing at a terrible singer whose Llama failed to return a bail of wool from Peru.

One more thing, for the love of all things holy, can we please have a contenstant on the X-Factor who makes it so far without bawling their god damn eyes out. Please?

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Whilst sitting at a bus stop wondering what time the next bus will come at, I seen this:

The Picture has of course been increased in size for you to get the full benefit! So, after the 12:08 service, the 20A bus will next be arriving at 37:08, 38:08, 39:08, 40:45, 41:15, 41:45.

So either some guy was having a laugh and decided to do time in a completely different fashion (e.g. 37:08 = 37-24:08 = 13:08 = 1:08 - which incidentally would continue in the same pattern as the prior bus would arrive at 12:08!!)…oh, well, since I’ve worked out what has happened there isn’t much point in continuing this and it looks like they haven’t broken the time dimension.

Yet.

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This ‘Crude sketch’ was shown on the Sky News website and supposedly represents a ‘map’ of the incident regards Charles de Menzes.

It looks like a quick doodle that I’d do whilst on the phone to somebody completely and entirely unimportant. It looks like a doodle that’d have absolutely nothing to do with anything significantly important and yet this appears on a national news website regarding something of some signifigance. What exactly did this doodle add to the entire investigation into the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes?

Were the Police not able to reconstruct the events in the good old timely fashion often seen on Crimewatch? Were they not able to get a computer diagram? Is this the best they have? I know it obviously isn’t but I mean, doesn’t this kind of just take the biscuit? I can only assume the stick figure lying spread out on the floor is the deceased Jean Charles de Menezes? Is that the appropriate way to represent a murder victim, because whether anyone wants to admit it, this was a case of murder, or at the very least manslaughter.

Oh well, like I said, I don’t really have an opinion on the entire affair, it was an unfortunate accident I guess but I mean, this picture (if it was ever put forward as a ‘recollection of events’ or a tool to aid memory or help describe the scenario) is an entire joke.

Peace out. Homies. Word. Or something.

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That aside, this website now has an alexa ranking. My site is currently ranked 11,432,294th in…well, the world? Is it the world? I think it’s the world.

Celebrate. Good times. Come on.

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It’s not that I don’t want to comment, because believe me I do, it’s just that I have absolutely no interest in finances or global stocks to make any kind of comment without sounding stupid. People could have told me that Lehman Brothers crashed and burned because they invested heavily in Horseradish and I’d have believed them.

However, British banks saw some turmoil this week. HBOS suffered stock loses and had to sort themselves out by merging with Lloyds TSB. So…Lloyds HBOS, HBOS Lloyds TSB, that’s one hell of a company name.

On top of that, it looks like the British government can’t really decide who they want to be in charge. I am waiting for the day where Bono, Bob Geldof and all the other self-serving idiots who like they to think they’re changing the world one C Chord at a time, form a group to take over power in the UK - GovernAid. It’d make political party broadcasts all that more easier to stomach mind you, seeing Bob Geldof standing in Liverpool pointing out a car with no hub caps. (Sorry for the stereotype. But it is true.)

Also, the Parliament Channel would get record viewing figures, it’d be a kind of quasi-Big Brother. Though it’d still be just as bad as.

If I could choose though, I’d stick Richard Branson in charge of the country. The man can do no wrong. He’d sort the economy and get us back on the right track. I imagine though, he’d want to re-brand Britain - Virgin Britain. Unfortunately, it won’t really work, seeing how the previous government fucked as all.

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Paddy\’s Revenge

I hope, like me, you stopped after about 20 seconds. Regrettably, this is being tipped to become ‘number one’ in the charts. Are we that void of musical and lyrical talent that a DJ can continually make number one hits based on the fact that the video has a bunch of semi-naked girls dancing around showing off their legs, breasts or arse? Surely there is somebody out there with more talent than this?! I have more talent than this. If this makes it to number one this weekend, then screw everything. I will either cut off my ears so I never have to go through this again or I will have my own number one hit. You heard it here first.

More to the point about this piece of nonsense is that it’s not even an Irish song. So, we have all the typical Irish stereotypes, a man dressed in green at a rainbow with a pot of gold, no doubt called Paddy. I assume it’s the guy in the video ‘getting his revenge’. Revenge for what? Revenge for the 800 or so years of oppression by the English? Maybe, were I an Irish Irishman that’s what I’d want revenge for, but no, you see DJ Steve Mac is from Surrey. So what’s the revenge? That’s no explained, it’s just a stupid title plucked out of Steve Mac’s own arse for the purpose of selling records. Indeed, the ‘jig’ was created by Simon Jeffes of the Penguin Cafe Orchestra.

All the little Irish and English chavvy/steeky/whatever-y “See You Next Tuesday’s” will be singing this song’s praise. In fact, I guarantee a quick scan of YouTube will confirm this:

scorpionwarriork1 exlaims:
up the fucking irish boy!!!!!!!!
mint or what?!!

shanehennessyguitar claims:
makes ya proud to be irish!

lambrini35 proudfully says:
makes ya proud to be irish!

ronjustincase gets quote emotion claiming:
Absolutely BRILLIANT Irish work, great editing and terribly sexy, with a luverly tone and feel. Congratulations Mr. Bergen you’ve a hit on your hands. Has to be an Irish background tale as only they can do so well. There’s an Irish song I’m inspired to try, so I’ll give it my best shot.

Morons.

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