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The X-Factor
We all know the X-Factor is a bit shit, but what’s got me annoyed is that the cameras never focus on the despairingly awful singers who have had a tough life.
Whenever we get the soppy music and the introduction similar to ‘and now for ________, this was a moment that he/she has been waiting for all his/her life, and he/she could only wish his/her father/mother/auntie/brother/sister/uncle/pet turtle was still alive to witness this occasion’
As soon as you get that, you know fine rightly that this person is going to be a decent singer. Where’s the people who are god awful singers but have got an interesting backstory? There’s bound to be plenty of them but they won’t show them because they then can’t have Simon Cowell laughing at a terrible singer whose Llama failed to return a bail of wool from Peru.
One more thing, for the love of all things holy, can we please have a contenstant on the X-Factor who makes it so far without bawling their god damn eyes out. Please?
I am speechless. I am without speech.
Rather shockingly, I have nothing to rant about. Nothing to claim. Nothing to get annoyed about. Despite the Earth being in somewhat of a shit state what with the global economy dangling on a knife edge, tensions in the world and all that jazz, I have no real comments.
It’s not that I don’t want to comment, because believe me I do, it’s just that I have absolutely no interest in finances or global stocks to make any kind of comment without sounding stupid. People could have told me that Lehman Brothers crashed and burned because they invested heavily in Horseradish and I’d have believed them.
However, British banks saw some turmoil this week. HBOS suffered stock loses and had to sort themselves out by merging with Lloyds TSB. So…Lloyds HBOS, HBOS Lloyds TSB, that’s one hell of a company name.
On top of that, it looks like the British government can’t really decide who they want to be in charge. I am waiting for the day where Bono, Bob Geldof and all the other self-serving idiots who like they to think they’re changing the world one C Chord at a time, form a group to take over power in the UK - GovernAid. It’d make political party broadcasts all that more easier to stomach mind you, seeing Bob Geldof standing in Liverpool pointing out a car with no hub caps. (Sorry for the stereotype. But it is true.)
Also, the Parliament Channel would get record viewing figures, it’d be a kind of quasi-Big Brother. Though it’d still be just as bad as.
If I could choose though, I’d stick Richard Branson in charge of the country. The man can do no wrong. He’d sort the economy and get us back on the right track. I imagine though, he’d want to re-brand Britain - Virgin Britain. Unfortunately, it won’t really work, seeing how the previous government fucked as all.
Fat men’s trousers
Probably the most inexplicably silly blog post title I’ve ever made but I was wondering about this today when no doubt I ought to have been doing something more important.
Why do fat men have the stigmata of wearing trousers that fall down on them constantly. Does this stereotypical view come from the idea that a fat guy is buying trousers that are about three sizes too big for him? Why would he do that? Surely he’d struggle to get trousers that actually fit him in the first place.
If anything, I reckon that fat guys trousers are probably too tight on them completely reducing the prospect of them actually falling down.
“But what if the button pops on those slacks?” I hear a small portion of the 4-10 people who read this blog. Well, worry not, for I have an answer. Hypothetical situation. Fat Larry is wearing tight trousers, oh no, the button pops and flies across the room hitting a sixteen year old on their work experience. Is Larry now suffering the embarrassment of his white boxer shorts (with the obligatory red hearts across them) being shown to the room? No. Why? Simply, because the trousers will probably hold their own, given that they are the correct size for Larry, or indeed, too tight for him. In which case, they’ll probably hold their own.
Why must this myth persist? If anything, skinny people’s trousers ought to be falling down more!
More so, if a fat guy’s trousers are falling down then I think we ought to give the guy respect, it’s probably a good indication that they’ve lost weight.
The iPhone-y
Oh, look at my post title, I’m ever so witty.
So, I’m probably the only nerd with a habit of disliking anything popular and craze-esque who hasn’t yet ranted about the iPhone. Seeing how last Friday, the iPhone 3G was released, I figured it was entirely appropriate to finally vent my feelings concerning this technological wonder.
Trash. Pure trash. Whilst the potential for Apple fan boys and girls is huge (in terms of monetizing them), Apple still seem to have a rather pretentious following. Admittedly, this is a slight deviation but I’d be curious to know how many male Apple users (with respect to personal computers) also have curly hair and drink Magners whilst watching a foreign film (So as not to alienate anyone reading this, you must tick all 3 of the aforementioned criteria for me to greatly dislike you).
Given Apple’s cult success (and glaringly blatant shortcomings), it was only natural that they’re release another cash cow device for the masses to drool over.
Shock. I was actually reasonably impressed by the iPhone after a colleague in one of my many previous jobs showed it to me. It does look sleek, it does look nifty and it has a nice screen. Then again, my Samsung mobile phone looks sleek nifty and has a really nice screen and has a retail value of considerably less than the iPhone.
That aside, I had no real issues with the iPhone. Yes, it was locked to networks, yes it had software glitches; neither of these two points came as a real surprise to me given Apple’s track record for ‘keeping things in the family’¹ especially when their iPod was considered. However, the realisation that the iPhone only worked on a 2G network was somewhat of a shocker. Here I am waltzing around with my Samsung something-or-other (I genuinely cannot remember the model) with not only 3G network capabilities but HSDPA (as close as we’ll get to mobile download speeds) and a 3.0 megapixel camera. The original iPhone did not even come close to this.
I think it’s a disgrace that the iPhone didn’t launch originally with all the bells and whistles. They’ve brought out the 3G version now and if I had bought the original iPhone I’d feel somewhat betrayed that I’d have to fork out another hundred quid or so to get a phone that works with a better speed, a speed that almost all modern devices currently work at for a lot less.
So, despite my normal disliking of Apple, I was willing to give the iPhone a chance (not to extent of buying one though) and not actually hate it. But I had no idea it wasn’t 3G and had no idea it only had a 2.0 Megapixel camera nor did it work at HSDPA download speeds.
So yeah, I feel better now that I’ve ranted about the iPhone but really, it just seems like a big iPhony (I’m sorry, I did love that pun too much) and a usual i-insertWordHere device to appeal to the more upper-class market that Apple seems to target.
What’s wrong with using a good old Nokia or Ericsson?
So much to do…so much time!
Aside from my two jobs in life, I’ve always been interested in earning a little extra through the interweb. I already have my Singing Success website that isn’t brining in much ($21). I will, eventually, have my home domain set up, NeillBoyd.com that will detail my brilliance in the vain hope of attracting clients for small scale IT work. However, I have been working on something else for now.
Ever since I worked for Microsoft I’ve always wanted to do something somewhat interested to do with maps. I worked in the MapPoint team and got a bit of a thing for integrating maps into applications. It opens up a whole new range of possibilities (admittedly, most of them have been covered by now) but I still want to add mine to the list.
More will be revealed when I actually have something worth while showing to people.
Basically, this is just a post to say to those 5-10 people who read this blog a day that I am not gone nor forgotten, just busy.
Keep reading though, no doubt something will irk me enough to make a post!
